6 Thoughts After Listening to 'Sheezus' Once

Lily Allen's new single "Sheezus" surfaced online yesterday, and these were all of the thoughts that came to mind after listening to the song once and looking over the lyrics.

 1. This has a nice melody, but it's not nearly as raucous as I thought it would be. I guess since the title is a play on Yeezus, I was expecting something like that album's avant-garde intensity, or at least something dancier.

2. This song is instantly dated and can only be understood by people listening to pop music at this very moment. Listening to this song in the future will be like watching an especially topical episode of Saturday Night Live 20 years down the road and not knowing who the host is or understanding any references they're making. Your kids are going to ask you who "Ri-Ri" and "Queen B" are, and then when you say "Rihanna" and "Beyonce," they're going to ask who they are. Well, maybe not Beyonce, because she'll be famous for a thousand years.

3. Calling Lady Gaga a "martyr" is pretty offensive to actual martyrs. Calling anyone who's still alive a "martyr" is pretty offensive to actual martyrs. Gaga's popularity isn't waning because of her artistic integrity, but because her new songs aren't as good as her old ones.

4. "Ri-Ri isn't scared of Katy Perry's roaring..." How is Katy Perry supposed to feel about this? It seems like this is a compliment to Rihanna, but Allen complimented her while insulting Katy Perry, which seems to go against the song's intention of empowering female pop stars. Maybe if Allen followed that up with a pro-KP line then it would be okay, but it just sounds like she's calling Katy Perry weak.

5. We don't all get periods, just women. Though, if you meant "women" when you said "we all," then you're right. However, on second thought, not all women get periods, either. Young girls don't get them, nor do women during menopause, nor do women suffering from anorexia.

6. Menstruation isn't a theory. There are probably crazy people out there who don't believe it exists, like people who deny gravity or climate change, but menstruation is definitely, positively a thing that happens, and not a theory. Also, calling menstruation "human nature" makes it sound like something that needs to be justified. Jealousy and violence are "human nature," things that are brutal and damaging, but are part of the human condition. Menstruation is simply biology and doesn't hurt anybody (unless you count cramps), so there's no need to justify it in any way.