Lewis Capaldi believed he would be forced to permanently abandon his singing career due to his arduous struggle with his mental health.
Lewis Capaldi After 'Someone You Love'
In his Wednesday-released Netflix documentary "How I'm Feeling Now," the 26-year-old musician describes how the strain resulting from the success of his debut album, "Divinely Uninspired to a Hellish Extent," triggered "terrifying" panic attacks.
Lewis describes how his anxiety manifested as a shoulder twitch that became so severe when he was composing songs that he had to delay the release of his second album.
Lewis was plagued with self-doubt as to whether he could ever recreate the magic of "Someone You Love" when he was writing back in lockup. He states that he lacked confidence in his abilities as a songwriter, and believed that this has gotten worse as his success has increased.
Tourette's and More
When he settled down to play the piano, his twitch becomes worse, even physically agonizing. He became extremely short of breath and his back felt as if it is on fire, which is quite terrifying for him.
As he struggled to cope with the magnitude of his success, Lewis' anxiety spiraled and he began to experience dreadful panic attacks. He sometimes convulse and he thought he might die.
Those closest to Lewis expressed concern for his mental health, with the singer eventually visiting a therapist and placing his songwriting on hold after initially resisting attempts.
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The therapist told the singer that his concerns about his own health and morality stem from his aunt's suicide.
"Before You Go" was written by the singer in her memory. Doctors diagnosed him with Tourette's after noticing his irrepressible shoulder twitch.
Tourette's is a neurological disorder characterized by involuntary movements and noises known as tics. The diagnosis gave the singer some peace of mind because it "made perfect sense."
Typically, it begins during childhood and persists into maturity. Tics may be either vocal or visceral in nature.
Lewis has been told that with medication, exercise, and a change in nutrition, he could experience a significant improvement in his anxiety.
This summer, his second album, "Broken by Desire to be Heaven-Sent," will be released. He explains the best way to combat anxiety and self-doubt is to enjoy what he is doing.
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