Rolling Stone got R. Kelly to do something pretty awesome the other day. They gave him four random phrases and asked him to make a song out of it. Now, this being R. Kelly, we knew sex was going to have to play a role in these little tunes.
Kelly explains his writing process before he took part in the challenge, saying, “I don’t like to just write songs. I like to write life. That’s my job. That’s my challenge, you know. That’s what I love to do. I love to just take simple lyrics that people say every day that people do every day and just turn it into a massive hit.”
On the first song, “Sex Dolphin” he sings, “Swimming in you waters with you / I want to be a dolphin to you / Going eee, eee, eee / Going eee, eee, eee.”
The second song “Ice Hockey” goes like this: “Take this chain on my neck / give me much respect / Take it to my bedroom / Kissing on your neck / I wanna be your ice hockey playa / I wanna be your ice hockey playa / your dragon slayer, girl / girl / And we can get in to one of them fights / like they do on hockey every night / ohh/ hockey player baby / yeah.”
He takes a more subtle approach on “Sex Newspaper,” singing, “Good news / good news / all I want to hear today is good news / girl, give me a paper/ ohh ohh / ‘cause I wanna read about good news.”
And for our favorite, “Italian Hero Sandwich of Love,” he croons, “Bring you and your friend / to my crib baby / and y’all can sandwich me / like an Italian hero sandwich / we’ll be making history / Bring one of your friends to my crib / and y’all can sandwich me / like an Italian hero sandwich / mmm / mmm / yum, yum, yum/ for your tum, tum tum.”
Check out the improvised sexy jams session for yourself here, and let us know what you think in the comments section below!