Toni Braxton, Keyshia Cole, En Vogue, Faith Evans, Gloria Gaynor, Jennifer Holliday, Chaka Khan, Gladys Knight, Patti LaBelle, Ruth Pointer of the Pointer Sisters, and Dionne Warwick are among the legendary ladies of soul who, incredibly, did not win The Masked Singer or even make it to the top two.
And now, we can add another Grammy-winning diva to that list of shockers.
On Wednesday's Season 11 semifinals episode, with just one week to go before the grand finale, time was up for the Clock. She turned out to be disco queen Thelma Houston, who, after returning to her Motown roots with a solo powerhouse performance of "Dancing in the Street" than had the audience dancing in the aisles, somehow lost her three-way Battle Royale performance of Kelly Clarkson's American Idol coronation song "A Moment Like This" to the Gumball and Goldfish.
Don't leave us this way, Thelma!
Everyone knew from the moment the Clock first hit the Masked Singer stage, exuding timeless glamour and giving a brassy, multi-gear performance that stopped time, that she was a legend. Over the course of the season, the panel thought she was Anita Baker, Roberta Flack, Evelyn "Champagne" King, Stephanie Mills, Diana Ross, Janet Jackson (that was Ken Jeong's wacky suggestion, of course), or Dame Shirley Bassey, before new judge Rita Ora finally guessed correctly. And the entire internet seemed to think the Clock was Bette Midler.
"I have a message to all the other contestants on this show: It is time to be scared!" Jenny McCarthy-Wahlberg once warned, predicting that Clock, whoever she was, could win this entire season. Robin Thicke even declared the Clock "one of the most soulful singers we've ever had on the show."
So... how did a crazy moment like this happen? How did Thelma lose to two contestants who are (probably) much younger singing thespians from Friday Night Lights and High School Musical? To be fair, this week's Battle Royale was a close one, with all three mystery celebrities really giving their Clarkson-esque best. Ken actually declared it the "best Battle Royale in the history of the show." But someone of Thelma's caliber belonged in the finals.
"You have delivered, week after week, and it is an honor to be on this stage with you," Rita gushed to Thelma.
"It is truly an honor." "We give you all the flowers tonight, all the flowers," said Robin.
Anyhoo, now we have the two singers headed to next week's finals. Who are they? I already hinted at my guesses a few paragraphs above, but let me lay it all out for you below.
The Gumball, "I Lived"
Returning to his roots and finally realizing his long-deferred dream of being a singer, Gumball triumphantly performed this OneRepublic anthem, sending a message to his children about they should never give up. And he was really living. "Somebody wants to win! ... To me, that was a winning finale performance," Jenny declared. "You picked the right time to have your best vocal, your most electrifying performance. You embodied the hope and the spirit of the song," said Robin.
The clues: This Southern boy and former athlete had a rough start his career and his "heart of a superhero" took a "beating," so he did "anything and everything to get an audience": Off-Broadway roles, beatboxing on the street, performing at theme parks, even getting booed off the stage of a talent competition. Music was his "first love," but when he moved to Hollywood, he had to give it up in order to be taken seriously as an actor. His wife was "diagnosed with a disease that will impact her later in life," so they choose to live every day to its fullest, right now. We also know he's the father of at least two kids. Other Gumball clues have included the word "quarterback" and football cheerleaders — references to a "role that changed his life forever" — as well as a doctor's uniform, spider, globe, bowling pins, angel wings, and heart-shaped clock. He's also worked with Channing Tatum.
Judges' guesses: James Van Der Beek, Jason Sudekis, and Taylor Kitsch.
My guess: I've chewed on Gumball's clues, and I believe this sticky-and-sweet singer is a Friday Night Lights actor, but it's not Taylor Kitsch. It Channing Tatum's 10 Years co-star, Scott Porter. Scott has voiced superhero characters, including some in the Spider-Man franchise. Various heart and Southern clues, along with the doctor outfit, are references to Scott's role in the CW medical show Hart of Dixie. Scott appeared in a 2004 Off-Broadway production of Altar Boyz, beatboxed in an a cappella group, worked at Orlando amusement parks before he was famous, and appeared on Star Search. But the biggest tipoff is his sad story about how "Mrs. Gumball" was "diagnosed with a disease that will impact her later in life," and Scott's wife of 11 years recently tested positive for the Huntington's Disease gene, meaning that she will eventually face the effects of that incurable disease.
The Goldfish, "You Oughta Know"
I don't think this was a good as the Clock's vocal this week, but it was close. The Goldfish seemed to channel all of her anger and frustration from being underestimated and misunderstood into this classic Alanis rager, and it was a blast (literally — there were rock 'n' roll pyro blasts). "That's the first time I got on the desk this season," said an amazed Robin, who was still on his feet, processing this glittering performance.
The clues: The young Goldfish "once wore a prom dress to an awards show," but she felt "a lot of pressure" to be a "role model" and "perfect" after she became a teenage sensation. Being "a splash overnight" made her feel like she was "living in a fishbowl," so she "retreated." She also found "dating in Hollywood" very difficult. But she "reinvented herself" in her later career and "dove into deeper, darker, edgier waters" with her role choices. The night before she was about to play her "dream role," she received the "worst news I could have ever imagined: I lost my No. 1 supporter," but she "reached down inside and found the courage to perform." Visual clues have included a vampire bat, Christmas snow globe, and glass slipper. She also goes "way, way back" with last season's Mouse, aka former Disney starlet Demi Lovato.
Judges' guesses: Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Tisdale, Selena Gomez, and Hillary Duff.
My guess: This is definitely High School Musical prom queen Vanessa Hudgens, whose father died from cancer the night before Fox's broadcast of Grease Live!. (Vanessa ended up giving the performance of her career as Rizzo, earning critical raves.) Vanessa's famous Hollywood paramours have included Zac Efron and Austin Butler, and she struggled to be a role model, transitioning to adulthood in the public eye, after a leaked nude photo scandal in 2007. She has starred in a few indie arthouse films since her Disney days, including playing a vampire in Freaks of Nature. She has also acted in several holiday movies, like the Princess Switch trilogy and The Knight Before Christmas. And now, playing the Goldfish, she's probably going to swim all the way to the winner's circle and secure a Golden Mask to match her costume.
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