Most people watch the VMAs with a bad taste in their mouths, wondering what's happened to the music kids are listening to these days and wondering just how far stars will go for a bit of spotlight. Unless you're a member of VigilantCItizen.com, in which case you notice how obvious the overarching Illuminati agenda is.
Admittedly we had no idea how much the secret organization is devoted to the over-sexualization of America. If we did, we probably wouldn't pay much attention to them. Either way, much of Vigilant's argument banked on the idea that Nicki Minaj's butt was a symbol for the ultimate will of the Illuminati.
We'd be one to disagree with that sentiment. In the tradition that everything has a sinister second meaning, we'd argue the popular triangle logo of the Illuminati resembles a far different part of the female anatomy than the buttocks.
The conspiracy-theory website does provide a telling amount of evidence that the many female performers during the show—including Beyoncé, Iggy Azalea and Jessie J—were members of the underground agency by showing photos of said stars covering one eye suggestively (although none of these photos occurred at the VMAs).
The site's take on Jessie J was especially enlightening.
"For some reason, Jessie J is always invited to big events," it wrote. "Maybe it is because she's always been down with the Illuminati Agenda"
The only solid evidence presented was the huge pseudo-eyeball that served as the backdrop to the stage...although "letting you know that the elite is sponsoring this fiasco" may be a stretch.
Well, if the Illuminati's master plan is for us to get laid...it could be worse, that's all we're saying.
Editor's note: Staff writer Ryan Book has already been threatened by various cult members due to his allegations that Tupac Shakur is in fact actually dead. His views in this piece may be biased accordingly.