Tina Knowles, spoke candidly about her emotional journey after her 33-year marriage to Mathew Knowles came to an end, revealing why she briefly reconciled with the father of her daughters, Beyoncé and Solange, despite his numerous betrayals.
At the LA Times Studios' fifth annual Inspirational Women Forum & Leadership Awards, Knowles described to Atlanta Black Star how hard it was to untangle her life from a multi-decade relationship.
"I was married for 33 years. I'd been with someone for 33 years and you can imagine how intertwined our lives were," she said in Hello! Magazine.
Knowles said leaving her ex was terrifying because their identities had been intertwined for so long.
She admitted, "I thought, 'How do I untangle this ball of yarn? Because my life is so intertwined with my ex-husband.'"
Even after deciding it was time to separate, Knowles wondered how to live independently.
"I didn't know how to be solo without this other person," she said, reflecting on fears about starting over at 59.
This was particularly evident when it helped her confront insecurities and release remnants of anger, embracing self-worth. Knowles admitted to being even afraid of finding companionship again.
She recalled, "I thought to myself, 'I'm 59. Where am I going to get a man? I'm not going to the club.'"
Knowles' daughters reacted strongly upon learning she had briefly reconciled with Mathew.
She wrote in Matriarch that Beyoncé felt "quiet disappointment," while Solange "exploded," reflecting deep loyalty and protectiveness toward their mother.
Knowles has admitted to having a complicated relationship with Mathew, whom she referred to as her "protector" and whose presence she cherished at times. She then married longtime friend Richard Lawson in 2015; the marriage ended in 2024.
Knowles, during an appearance on Oprah's Book Club, said, "This marriage is not bringing out the best in me, and I have finally found my worth."
Knowles approaches this new chapter with the confidence and calm of someone who suggests a promising new connection while also remembering the lessons learned from her past. Her story underlines the challenges and rewards of choosing oneself after decades of compromise.
Originally published on Enstarz
