Today MTV announced the nominees for this year's Video Music Awards. There are 16 categories in total, but here at Music Times, we think they could stand to add a few more. Here are some VMA categories that should exist.
1. Best Video For A Crappy Song
This year's winner: Jason Derulo ft. 2 Chainz - "Talk Dirty"
The "Talk Dirty" video has a ton of really impressive cinematography, lighting, editing, and choreography, but the song itself is "Obnoxiously Produced and Mindlessly Written Pop" 101.
2. Best Video That Came Out So Long Ago, You Didn't Know Realize It Was Eligible This Year
This year's winner: Miley Cyrus - "Wrecking Ball"
Miley debuted her scandalous new image at last year's VMA's, but it seems so long ago that I can't remember what she was like before.
3. Best Video By A Dead Artist That Will Get Obligatory Votes
This year's winner - Michael Jackson - "Love Never Felt So Good"
If Michael Jackson was still alive, we probably wouldn't be thinking twice about this video, and his Xscape album probably wouldn't have even been released.
4. Best Video By An Artist That Will Probably Be Irrelevant Next Year
This year's winner - Iggy Azalea - "Fancy"
I actually really enjoy "Fancy," both the song and the video (Clueless is a great movie), but it seems like the kind of song that's so massive that it'll be impossible to follow-up.
5. Best Video By An Artist That Has Been Called Racist On The Internet
This year's winner: Lorde - "Royals"
Other nominees include Iggy Azalea, Katy Perry, Miley Cyrus, and pretty much every other pop star in the business right now.
6. Best Video By An Artist That Started Off As An Actor
This year's winner: Ariana Grande - "Problem"
Other nominees this year included Miley Cyrus, Childish Gambino, and Drake. By 2029, about 98 percent of all VMA nominees will have previously been stars of Disney channel sitcoms.
7. Best Video For A Song That Was In Every Single Commercial For The Last 6 Months
This year's winner: Pharrell Williams - "Happy"
I've experienced inescapable songs before, but nothing like this. I'm pretty sure the only thing keeping ad agencies from transmitting this song into our brains is that it's technologically impossible in 2014, but probably not for long.
8. Best Product Placement
This year's winner: Nicki Minaj - "Pills n' Potions"
There's pretty much no reason for this video to have a Beats Pill in it. Nobody's holding it when it appears on screen, and though the title of the song is "Pills n' Potions," I sincerely doubt Nicki Minaj is referring to a Beats Pill.
9. Video With An Awful Message
This year's winner: Chris Brown - "Loyal"
This is a song that contains the lyric, "I can make a broke b***h rich/But I don't f**k with broke b****es," though we shouldn't have really expected any less from Chris Brown.
10. Best Video Of All Time
This year's (and every year's) winner: "Buddy Holly" by Weezer
Just a friendly reminder.
