Let's just get to the point, Classicalites.

You've Got My Song: the [unauthorized] weezer musical, the killer new work-in-progress by director-cum-playwright Daniel Bumgardner, has been happening here for the last five installments.

So, if you haven't yet checked out what this latter-day saint of the stage has been blessing us with, please--by all means--go right ahead. It's cool, we'll wait.

No, really.

* * *

We carry on, then, with Act II, Scenes 4 & 5. Or, as Bumgardner (via Rivers Cuomo) is wont to call 'em: "Pink Triangle" and "Falling for You."

Remember, too, Daniel Bumgardner is currently directing Suzanne Bradbeer's Full Bloom at Arcturus Theater Company in Washington, D.C.

Get your tickets HERE.

Paul walks home.

PAUL: When I'm stable long enough, I start to look around for love. See a sweet in floral print, my mind begins the arrangements. But when I start to feel that pull, turns out I just pulled, myself. She would never go with me--were I the last girl on earth.

He turns the corner, stops.

I'm dumb, she's a lesbian. I thought I had found the one. We were good as married in my mind, but married in my mind's no good. Oh, a pink triangle on her sleeve. Let me know the truth, let me know the truth. 

He continues on his way.

Might have smoked a few in my time, but never thought it was a crime. Knew the day would surely come, when I'd chill and settle down. When I think I've found a good, old-fashioned girl, then she put me in my place. If everyone's a little queer...can't she be a little straight?

Could be a synchronized plaid-clad butch kick line in combat boots.

I'm dumb, she's a lesbian. I thought I had found the one. We were good as married in my mind, but married in my mind's no good. Oh, a pink triangle on her sleeve. Let me know the truth, let me know the truth.

He pulls out his keys.

Jon wakes up. Electricity: A Flickering Hum, Readjusted Antenna. He is at Susanne's doorstep. The ne plus ultra of Revelations.

JON: Holy cow! I think I've got one here. Now just what am I s'posed to do? I've got a number of irrational fears that I'd like to share with you. First, there's rules about old goats like me hangin' 'round with chicks like you.

Susanne opens the door. She stands in the doorway. She radiates heat.

But I do like you. And another one: You say 'like' too much.

 She could turn, as if to close the door. He stops her.

But I'm shakin' at your touch; I like you way too much. My baby, I'm afraid I'm falling for you, and I'd do 'bout anything to get the hell out alive. Or, maybe I would rather settle down with you. Holy moly, baby, wouldn't you know it? Just as I was bustin' loose, I gotta go turn in my rock star card and get fat and old with you. 'Cause I'm a burning candle. You're a gentle moth--teaching me to lick a little bit kinder. And I do like you. You're the lucky one. No! I'm the lucky one

 JON & SUSANNE: But I'm shakin' at your touch; I like you way too much. My baby, I'm afraid I'm falling for you, and I'd do 'bout anything to get the hell out alive. Or maybe, I would rather settle down with you.

 Paul is alone in his apartment.

 PAUL: Holy sweet goddamn! You left your cello in the basement. I admired the glowing stars and tried to play a tune.

JON: I can't believe how bad I suck, it's true. What could you possibly see in little ol' three-chord me? But I do like you. And you like me, too. I'm ready, let's do it baby.

 JON & PAUL: But I'm shakin' at your touch; I like you way too much. My baby, I'm afraid I'm falling for you. And I'd do 'bout anything to get the hell out alive. Or maybe I would rather settle down, with you.

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