Dating site eHarmony just isn't bringing in enough folks above the age of 40, according to a report from Ad Age. The site's solution is to opt for a new commercial campaign featuring a more comedic approach (okay...), directed by Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst (what?!?). Don't jump to conclusions. After all, most of Bizkit's work focuses on healthy relationships, right?
Okay, that's a low blow on our part. In truth, Durst has taken to directing and hasn't done too poorly with it, including the 2007 film The Education of Charlie Banks, which starred Jesse Eisenberg. Plus, we can assume that Durst has matured at least a little bit since "Nookie" rocked the airwaves. If our daughters wanted to date him then...well...we still wouldn't let that happen. But our theoretical daughters could find far worse performers and rock stars on an online dating site.
Here's a basic list of some performers women should consider steering clear of.
05) Billy Corgan
In Corgan's defense, there are absolutely no charges of domestic violence against him. But that doesn't stop the dating habits of the Smashing Pumpkins frontman from being a little creepy.
The first part is a rumor, but one that's generally accepted by the rock world to be true: Billy Corgan was the first dude to approach Courtney Love post-Kurt Cobain. The Pumpkins were touring as part of Lollapalooza during 1994 and Love made several appearances to address crowds (Nirvana was meant to tour with Lolla that year). Mind you this was just three months after Cobain committed suicide. Corgan and Love had previously been involved and he saw an opportunity in the worst way possible.
Oh, and he was married while this was going on.
Corgan is now a 47 year-old man dating a 19 year-old woman, a situation that is totally legal but still probably not the best in terms of being able to relate (We probably would've dated Chris Cornell when we were 19 but that wouldn't have worked out either).
Combine all this with his bizarre insistence that a female play the bass in his band (D'Arcy Wretsky, Melissa auf der Maur, Ginger Pooley and Nicole Fiorentino), which sounds like a turning point in a Criminal Minds episode.
04) Any member of the original Guns 'n' Roses
The new Guns 'n' Roses seem like lovely gentlemen, proposing to their girlfriends while borrowing a helicopter illegally in Las Vegas...it's the thought that counts.
The original band has had less success not being charged for domestic abuse however. Drummer Steven Adler and guitarist Slash were known to be the most drug abusive pair in a band full of massive drug abusers, so it might seem obvious that the pair would accidentally abuse a woman in the process. Alas Slash's arrest came in 1999, sober, and Adler was picked up for domestic abuse during 1997, not sober.
Both guys have truly cleaned up their act over the last decade plus, so we acknowledge we're "bringing up old s--t," albeit awfully serious s--t.
Vocalist Axl Rose is a more interesting case. Always the least intoxicated of the band's members, he was still notorious for his temper. Thus it's not too surprising that he was sued by ex-wife Stephanie Seymour for his abuse, but he countersued, alleging domestic abuse on her part. It was settled out of court, but no one really wins in a relationship like that.
We feel the need to point out that bassist Duff McKagan seems like the kind of guy we'd let take our daughter out.
03) Glen Campbell
Some obvious answers were left off of this list, such as Chris Brown (who we hope is young enough to learn and steer himself true) and Ike Turner (he's dead, so he won't be on eHarmony anytime soon) because you all already know. Country music icon Glen Campbell seems to be one that people are willing to forget about because he's old and the reported damage was done more than 30 years ago.
The story, at least as described by his onetime girlfriend Tanya Tucker, was that the "Rhinestone Cowboy" knocked out her two front teeth during a drunken rage. Campbell denied those charges, calling her a "crazy woman," but his history with drugs and alcohol is long. Plus, consider that he had three wives before dating Tucker, and you have to cast a wary eye on his relationships with women.
It would be a low blow for us to say that Campbell doesn't deserve a break (he's been married to his current wife since 1982). So before you embrace the country icon, cut Brown a bit of slack.
02) Flava Flav
It's been a long time since the Public Enemy hype man was arrested for domestic abuse, we'll grant you that. His last charge came in 1993, which was followed by a much needed stint in rehab for a crack addiction. We're more bothered that during the same year he attempted to shoot his neighbor, resulting in attempted murder charges.
But things have gotten better, right?
Well...he was arrested again during 2012 after a loud argument with fiancé Elizabeth Trujillo. Although no damage was actually done, he did threaten to stab her son.
All this explains why the guy needed a reality show on VH1 to find love.
01) Tommy Lee
It's pretty sad how just listing "domestic abuse" seems boring by this point in the list. Unfortunately, the Motley Crue drummer's transgression is especially heinous. According to reports stemming from his 1994 arrest for domestic abuse, he not only kicked then-wife Pamela Anderson, he did so while she was holding their infant son.
And, as I'm sure you're all expecting, I need to mention that some people just aren't good partners because it results in you being naked and doing unmentionable things on the internet. The sex tape that was stolen from Lee's home in 1995 is the absolute apex of celebrity sex tapes. There are better ways to get your roughly one hour and 16 minutes of stardom on the internet. Trust us.