We all know at least one person who is so incredibly irritating that you refuse to listen to anything they say. If there's this one band they keep suggesting to you, you simply refuse to look into them, out of fear that you'll actually enjoy them and become irritating, too. Here are seven artists whose fans make me embarrassed to be a fan.
1. Bob Marley
I absolutely love Bob Marley's music, but I'm almost afraid to tell people this, because what comes to mind when you think of a Bob Marley fan? Not a hardcore roots reggae guy, but a college kid who listens to him because he smoked weed, man! Never mind the brilliant songwriting or political influence; this guy loved to get high.
2. Minor Threat
Minor Threat started the whole straight-edge punk movement, in which punks abstain from drugs, alcohol, and casual sex. While it's a noble discipline, straight-edge kids are often insufferably self-righteous and conformist, especially considering punk is meant to destroy conformity. As Henry Rollins once said, "Punk rockers [are] some of the most narrow-minded people on the face of the earth."
3. Oasis
There's a guy sitting under a tree on campus playing his guitar. A girl walks over to him and asks him to play something.
"Uh...I can play 'Wonderwall'" he says.
"Oh I love that song!" she replies.
They both love Oasis, but couldn't tell you the names of any other songs the band's written.
4. Neutral Milk Hotel
I adore Neutral Milk Hotel as much as the next 21-year-old white guy, but going to a Neutral Milk Hotel or Jeff Mangum show is like going to one of those freaky snake-handling churches in the deep south, where everyone is speaking in tongues and feeling the touch of God. I wouldn't be surprised if there was one of those massive cult suicides at one of its shows in the near future.
5. Wilco
There are two types of people who listen to Wilco: young hipsters and your dad. I once went to a Wilco concert and there were a bunch of drunk 40-year-olds spilling beer all over everyone. I've seen 50-year-old Joe Scarborough get into an argument about Wilco on MSNBC. I can't understand why so many dads are listening to Wilco but then ignoring every other band that plays on Saturday Night Live. It's probably the band's country roots, but I would've thought that its avant-garde noise bits would be enough to scare them away.
6. The Flaming Lips
Hippies. The people who listen to the Flaming Lips are acid-burnout hippies who are too young for the Grateful Dead.
7. Any Classic Rock Band
If you have a dad who hasn't discovered Wilco yet, but loves Steely Dan and the Eagles (I'm just describing my dad, really), he's definitely told you at least a few times how music will never again be as good as it was when he was a kid. Even Walter White talks to his disinterested son about the greatness of Steely Dan in an episode of Breaking Bad. There are so many great songs being played on classic rock radio, but good music didn't end in 1979.
