Everything Will Be Alright in the End seems like a tongue-in-cheek phrase at first glance. But when you consider the earnestness and sincerity of its writer, the words form an honest apology, an acknowledgement of several challenging years that have now passed.
Weezer frontman Rivers Cuomo could've told us "everything will be alright" three months ago, and we would not have believed him.
That's because the 44-year-old man who began trading verses with Lil Wayne and investing in material from pop songwriters was unrecognizable when propped next to the young cult hero who penned two of a generation's best rock albums.
No matter how hard he tried, Cuomo could never outrun Weezer and Pinkerton. The new album is simultaneous proof that his '90s formula — infectious bravado divided by depressive adolescence and wall of sound guitars — is both inescapable and unattainable.
The magic is gone, but at least Rivers and co. tried to recapture something worthwhile.
Weezer wrapped recording sessions for their eponymous debut a little more than 21 years ago, so Music Times decided to rank one song for each year of the band's roller-coaster career.
21. Beverly Hills
[Make Believe single - 2005]
This has to be the most polarizing song in the Weezer canon, right? For the first time, Cuomo dipped his toes into beer-commercial territory with this sonic ode to Joan Jett. "Beverly Hills" was the gateway to several years of tortured relations with a fan base that kept waiting for a Blue Album retread that never arrived.
This cut introduced the band to a new generation of supporters that would eventually grow to despise "Beverly Hills" like everybody else with a hint of sensibility. But there's no denying the sing-a-long chorus and talk-box solo. In the end, it's more guilty pleasure than dumpster fire, especially compared to what later albums produced.
20. No Other One
[Pinkerton - 1996]
Of all the girls Cuomo finds himself paired with on Pinkerton, the burnout with reptiles is the scariest. "All of the drugs she does scare me real good," he sings. "She's got a tattoo and two pet snakes."
A sharp commentary on monogamy, "No Other One" is also a molasses stomper that forces you to get off the wall and groove.
19. Butterfly
[Pinkerton - 1996]
Cuomo is known for his intimate tales, but this is one of the only major-release cuts that puts you in the room with him by utilizing a single acoustic guitar and some light percussion.
"Butterfly" is a juvenile tragedy with off-color lyrics ("If I'm a dog, then you're a b*tch") that are tough to shake, even after one listen. "I guess you're as real as me," he sings. "Maybe I can live with that."
18. Perfect Situation
[Make Believe single - 2005]
This mid-2000s single is truer to the band's sound than "Beverly Hills," but it's still a stretch to say "Perfect Situation" fits in easily with the previous discography. If "Hills" was their big dive into arena rock, then "Perfect" was the complementary anthem.
17. Pink Triangle
[Pinkerton single - 1997]
Weezer was always too up-tempo to be considered part of the grunge crowd, but it didn't help that Cuomo ditched abstract sorrow for knife-twisting details. Can you imagine Chris Cornell wailing about a girlfriend who left him for another woman?
"If everyone's a little gay," Cuomo sings. "Why can't she be a little straight?" At once politically incorrect and adorable, this tune is one of his most unique.
16. Keep Fishin'
[Maladroit single - 2002]
The band's fourth album was their most metal-friendly, but two songs (this one and No. 12) escaped that fray and found their way onto rock radio. "Keep Fishin'" employs a theme of jealousy while avoiding the sexual ownership that put "No One Else" in the gray area.
15. The World Has Turned and Left Me Here
[Weezer - 1994]
One of the group's most iconic early works (if we're being real: everything from the Blue Album was iconic), this cut blends acoustic picking with power chords.
It's funny that Cuomo always claimed he was more embarrassed by Pinkerton's lyrical content when the debut had lines like these: "I talked for hours to your wallet photograph / And you just listened / You laughed, enchanted by my intellect / Or maybe you didn't."
14. Across the Sea
[Pinkerton - 1996]
If the previous song is considered intimate, then this one blows the doors off that adjective. Here we have a broken-hearted rock star who falls madly in love (lust?) with an Japanese teenager who keeps sending him fan mail on "refined" stationery.
How was this never made into a Lifetime movie? With all the details in the verses, the script basically would basically write itself. "So I sniff and I lick your envelope," Cuomo sings. "And fall to pieces every time."
13. Photograph
[Weezer single - 2001]
Punch the Green Album into your car stereo, hum through "Don't Let Go" and then have some fun with this one. Short and sweet, "Photograph" epitomizes the Apple-ad sound, even though it predates the iPod.
If The Beatles came along four decades later, this is what they might've sounded like.
12. Dope Nose
[Maladroit single - 2002]
If the "whoa-oh-oh" bits don't take you back, nothing will. "Dope Nose" is pure fun on an album that lacks many uplifting moments. Plus, Cuomo rehashes the weird urban narration he used almost a decade earlier on No. 5.
After all, this one is "for the times that you wanna go and bust rhymes real slow," ya bish.
11. Surf Wax America
[Weezer - 1994]
The best surfing tune since The Beach Boys' heyday, this one features an unbeatable barbershop bridge to boot. Swelling in and out to mimic the tide, "Surf Wax America" is nothing if not a blast.
10. Hash Pipe
[Weezer single - 2001]
America is damn scared of drugs. At least, its suits and policymakers are. That's why Weezer got label pushback on "Hash Pipe" when the band wanted to release the rock radio staple as a single.
But the song survived the chopping block, and remains one of their most brooding tracks. "You've got your problems," Cuomo sings. "I've got my ass wide." No smiles here, though.
9. Tired of Sex
[Pinkerton - 1996]
Talk about an anti-stardom anthem. This one cuts deep with a tale that could've come along with the following tagline: "...When making enough love for the rest of us goes wrong." The best part about this is that, after a solid year of anticipation, Weezer's sophomore album dropped with this track as the intro.
The critics weren't singing along until years later, when tunes like "Tired of Sex" got their due. Riff-driven and unashamed to a fault, this is the perfect introduction to the rest of Pinkerton.
8. Island in the Sun
[Weezer single - 2001]
Perhaps the group's most recognizable song, "Island in the Sun" nodded toward the winds of change, even as the band tried to recreate the feeling of their debut with the unfortunately titled Green Album.
But not even a Spike Jonze-directed video could help them stack up to past work. For better or worse, Weezer would forever be a mainstream act after this cut hit the airwaves.
7. In the Garage
[Weezer - 1994]
What, did you think Cuomo was cool as a kid? Of course he sat in his garage playing Dungeons and Dragons by himself. Of course he had KISS posters lining the walls and wrote crappy songs that no one else would ever hear.
"In the Garage" is a song for the downtrodden kids who refuse to let a horrible social life get the upper hand. A loner's rock ballad, it simmers over a fuzzy rhythm before turning it up to 11 in the nerdiest way possible.
6. The Good Life
[Pinkerton single - 1996]
"Excuse the b*tching," Cuomo sings. "I shouldn't complain."
He'd been through a lot, though. After the success of Weezer's debut, Cuomo finally had enough cash to fix his left leg with a Ilizarov procedure that forced him to wear a steel brace and commit to excruciating stretching routines.
It's a minor upset that he didn't write a melancholy song about this subject matter, and decided to go with a head-bobbing rocker. But we'll take it.
5. Buddy Holly
[Weezer single - 1994]
Known for its outstanding music video (thanks, Spike) and infectious chorus, "Buddy Holly" will always be an essential part of '90s rock radio.
This is one of Cuomo's best songwriting efforts, and a truly signature tune that helped America turn the page after Kurt Cobain left, Pearl Jam began a purposeful march out of the spotlight and John Frusciante decided to spend years in the wilderness shooting heroin and losing his teeth.
Several other hits filled the void in the mid-'90s, but few opened up the genre like "Buddy Holly."
4. El Scorcho
[Pinkerton single - 1996]
Here you have it - Weezer's wonkiest hit and best sing-a-long from a mountain of similar options. Whether its the drunken riff or the Green Day reference ("how cool is that??") or the punk run or the lazy solo or the shrieking "stupid dream" confession, "El Scorcho" is pure '90s and pure gold.
3. My Name Is Jonas
[Weezer - 1994]
This one always works better on the record than it does live (it's tough to execute the proper timing and sound mixing on the intro), but goodness, what a recording.
The first tune on the first album, "My Name Is Jonas" is one of Cuomo's most captivating stories. He spins a nostalgic tale in a 6/8 structure before Brian Bell alleviates the tension with a harmonica solo. This one is memorable all the way through.
2. Undone — The Sweater Song
[Weezer single - 1994]
"Undone" was Weezer's big introduction to the world. Rock DJs were either perturbed by the abnormal intro and lead guitar pattern or hooked by them. The initially sleepy-sounding Los Angeles band had a penchant for shaking listeners awake with the grungy quiet/loud dynamics of its debut single
We said "El Scorcho" is the band's weirdest hit and best sing-a-long, but "Undone" probably trumps both categories there. There's no shame in being wrong, especially when destroying thick articles of clothing.
1. Say It Ain't So
[Weezer single - 1995]
This track is far and away the band's crowning achievement, with an dominant element of despair that's tightly packed next to dashes of humor, turns of phrase and self-awareness that give the listener icebox-esque chills.
Here we have Cuomo coming to grips with the realization that he is falling victim to booze in the same way that his male role models did. "Like father / stepfather," he sings. "The son is drowning in the flood."
Helped along by a nimble guitar lick and some sluggish reggae flecks, "Say It Ain't So" gave an air of legitimacy to a band whose first two singles didn't exactly exude seriousness.
Cuomo will likely never be able to create something as good as this, but don't blame him; few other songwriters will, either.
We know this list won't make everyone happy, so sound off in the comments section below and let us know what we missed!
