In 2019, Ed Sheeran announced his semi-retirement plans to the world but did not really divulge why he was leaving the music scene at the peak of his career.
Years later, the singer explained that it was a myriad of things that pushed him into making this decision, one of the major factors being his mental health.
Sheeran candidly spoke about his mental health, especially his bouts with suicidal thoughts, with Rolling Stone.
"You're under the waves drowning. You're just sort of in this thing. And you can't get out of it," he explained.
"No one really talks about their feelings where I come from," Sheeran continued. "People think it's weird getting a therapist in England.... I think it's very helpful to be able to speak with someone and just vent and not feel guilty about venting."
According to reports, the 32-year-old singer revealed that he has always grappled with depression for the majority of his life, it only worsened when he lost two of his best friends, Jamal Edwards and Shane Warne.
'Selfish'
Edwards was the one who helped the "Bad Habits" singer start his music career, while Warne was a cricketer and a very close friend of Sheeran.
To make matters worse, The News reported that shortly before Edward's death, Sheeran's wife, Cherry Seaborn, was diagnosed with a tumor.
"I felt like I didn't want to live anymore. And I have had that throughout my life," Sheeran said.
While Sheeran struggled with suicidal thoughts, he tried to be strong for his children.
He revealed that these thoughts that swirled in his head made him feel "selfish", especially because biting the bullet would mean leaving them behind.
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Coping with Loss
Sheeran revealed that the way he coped with his friends' loss was through taking drugs.
"I remember just being at a festival and being like, 'Well if all of my friends do it, it can't be that bad,'" he recalled.
"And then it just turns into a habit that you do once a week and then once a day and then, like, twice a day and then, like, without booze. It just became bad vibes.
"I would never, ever, ever touch anything again, because that's how Jamal died. And that's just disrespectful to his memory to even, like, go near."
Fans can watch Sheeran go through these tough times on his upcoming documentary "The Sum of It All."
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