With the upcoming releases of Smokey Robinson's duets album (Smokey & Friends) and a collaborative album between Lady Gaga and Tony Bennett (Cheek To Cheek), it seems like duets have become pretty popular recently. Though Lady Gaga and Tony Bennett's voices seem like they would go well together, there are plenty of other artists who definitely shouldn't sing together. Here are some duets that we do not want to hear.
1. Chris Brown & Frank Ocean
If the two ever appeared on the same track, the cognitive dissonance between Chris Brown's cartoonishly arrogant misogyny and Frank Ocean's sensitive introspection would probably destroy R&B and pop music as we know it. If we were lucky, it would only destroy the part that Brown represents.
2. Kanye West & T-Pain
I'm talking 2008 808s & Heartbreak Kanye West here, when he starting "singing" with Autotune instead of rapping. If he ever did a duet with the perpetually Autotuned T-Pain (I'm pretty sure that guy was born with Pro Tools instead of a nervous system), it would sound like two malfunctioning hip-hop robots trying to out-swag one another.
3. Kanye West & Taylor Swift
This would basically end up being another Kanye West solo track, since he wouldn't ever allow Taylor Swift to get a word in.
4. William Shatner & Fred Schneider
A duet between actor/sometimes spoken word artist William Shatner and B-52's talk-singer Fred Schneider would basically just sound like two guys having a very loud conversation over a backing track, not unlike the "duet" Shatner did with Henry Rollins back in 2004. A Shatner/Schneider track would at least be campy, though. On second thought, I'd actually really like to hear what this would sound like.
5. Billy Corgan & Axl Rose
Smashing Pumpkin's Billy Corgan and Guns N' Roses' Axl Rose have far more in common than you might think. They're both the sole original members remaining in their bands, they're (reportedly) egomaniacal jerks, and their vocals are some of the whiniest and most unpleasant to ever come from multi-platinum rock bands. A Pumpkins N' Roses duet would probably destroy your headphones.
6. Geddy Lee & Claudio Sanchez
The first thing that most people notice about the music of Rush and Coheed & Cambria is the impossibly high vocal range of their lead vocalists, Geddy Lee and Claudio Sanchez, respectively. Sanchez was undoubtedly influenced by the music of Rush and Lee's distinct vocal style, but a duet between the two would sound like Alvin and the Chipmunks on LSD. I don't mean that in a good way, either.
7. Bob Dylan & Tom Waits
Bob Dylan's never really been a tremendous singer, but there used to be a time when he could, you know, hit notes and form melodies with his voice. These days, he just sounds like someone doing a particularly brutal Tom Waits impression, which is why he should never join the real Tom Waits in the studio. This is a shame, because if the two had met up some time before Dylan's voice completely went to hell, they could have made something wonderful together.
8. Kesha & Miley Cyrus
This might have been charming back when Miley Cyrus was still Hannah Montana, but if Kesha ever teamed up with new YOLO Miley Cyrus, there would be glitter pouring out of everyone's speakers. And glitter never comes out.
What other duets would you not want to hear? Let us know in the comments section!
