We're snake owners, and as such we couldn't be more thrilled that snakes-in-hats is now the hottest thing on the internet. Sure, a lot of people are terrified of snakes, and cave paintings demonstrate that neanderthals were afraid of snakes too. We like to think we've evolved a bit since then, how about you?
In defense of snakes as pets, you should make sure to get the facts from a legitimate institution, and not the SyFy channel. Snakes-not just as pets, but snakes in general-caused a total of one death in the United States during 2012. That instance was a Pentecostal preacher in Tennessee who was bitten by a copperhead he was handling during a service. Antivenom could have easily saved his life, but that would have gone against his belief system, alas.
Dogs (also great pets), resulted in 38 deaths during 2012.
We compiled a short playlist based on our favorite snakes-in-hats. Learn a thing or two about the songs and the snakes in the descriptions.
5. "Hey! Mr. Lincoln" by Big Dipper
This one's pretty obvious, but we just had to include this California king snake wearing a stovepipe hat (We're pretty sure this is a variation of Cali-king...we only own the regular striped versions). There's no sly snake references within Big Dipper's ode to the 16th president, but we love Big Dipper and felt they should get a shoutout. It could also be said Lincoln most resembled a snake among presidents, thanks to his 6'4" length.
4. "La Vibora de lar mar" (Traditional)
This track, which translates to "The Sea Snake" in Spanish, has long been the theme song to a popular children's game in Mexico and Latin America. Frankly, it's much more confusing than the games we enjoyed as children. The "snake" is formed by children who are captured by other children, representing a melon and watermelon. The two teams of children then compete in tug-of-war. See? There are weirder things than snakes in hats.
3. "As Long As You're Mine" from Wicked
Elphaba, the "wicked" witch star of Wicked, knows exactly how this snake (either a king or corn morph) feels. For some reason, people just rag on you because of sking color, or leg total, or other things you can't control, instead of getting to know you for who you are. This number from the musical details when Elphaba finds love, and hopefully every hat-wearing snake in the universe has an owner that's just as adoring.
2. "Parallel Universe" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers
"Christ, I'm a sidewinder/I'm a California king." Few suspect that Anthony Kiedis is actually talking about the species, California king snake, and not referring to himself as a West Coast monarch. But think about: He listed the sidewinder, another serpent species right before it. The snake in this picture is not a king snake, but his crown definitely makes him a King Snake.
1. "It's My Party" by Lesley Gore
Work with us here: This snake is obviously at a party, based on it's festive hat. Gore says that "it's my party, I can cry if I want to." Let's say we fill in a synonym for "cry." How about bawl? And what kind of snake is featured in this photo? A ball python. The species is noted for rolling up into balls, and as you can see in the photo, it's her party and she can bawl/ball up if she wants to. BOOM. Wordplay.