Chvrches lead singer Lauren Mayberry is typically pretty closed-off when it comes to her personal life, but has always been a vocal supporter of women's issues including her responses to online rape threats and catcalling. In a new letter penned for Lena Dunham's newsletter Lenny Letters, the singer opens up about the abusive relationship that came to shape how she lives her life now.
In the letter, she points out that the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence defines domestic violence as all of the following: "physical violence, sexual violence, psychological violence, and emotional abuse." Her relationship fell under the psychological and emotional variety and for a long time she said she didn't recognize the abuse because the unidentified individual never hit her.
"We were arguing, again," she wrote in the opening of the letter, "Like most times it happened, I wasn't quite sure why he was so upset. I had tried to placate him; I had tried to reason; I had tried to apologize, but nothing seemed to be having any impact other than making the situation worse. Then he backed me against a wall and slammed his hand repeatedly on the surface above my head. When I broke down in shock, he said, 'Oh, don't act like I hit you.' That moment was the final wake-up call I shouldn't have needed."
She also described how her abuser would grab her wrists and arms, slam doors in her face, send emotionally damaging texts, and once grabbed the steering wheel of her car while she was driving.
Mayberry said she never thought she'd find herself in a scenario like that because she's always considered herself a feminist and a strong, shrewd person, but the fact is that this can happen to anyone and sadly almost 50 percent of U.S. women and men experience some form of psychological aggression by a partner, according to the CDC.
According to Stereogum, the piece won't be up online until Wednesday (Oct. 28), but to read it in full right now, you can subscribe to the Lenny Letter email list.
Listen to "Leave A Trace" off the band's fantastic sophomore album Every Open Eye, below.
